Ice Ice Baby

Humorous article published September 2018 in The Devil’s Advocate (high school newspaper)

For many seniors, the 2015 Icebreaker was by far the best school dance. Yes, as starry-eyed freshman, we were excited for our first ever—gasp—high school event, and yes, the seniors of ’16 had unparalleled school spirit. But beyond that, what made that first Icebreaker so exhilarating? And why have all subsequent dances been dimly mediocre in comparison?

The answer lies in the location of the dance. Our freshman Icebreaker was hosted in the wonderful Swedish American Hall, a dark and crowded building with little room to breathe. One might think these attributes make the venue unsuitable to host hundreds of hormonal teenagers, as opposed to the spacious and windowed Fort Mason. However, the venue proved effective in creating a fun, hype atmosphere that every student was engaged in. By eliminating the extra space, essentially everyone was on the dance floor, as opposed to Fort Mason, in which students must consciously choose to be part of the dance. The only downside to the crowded venue was the amount of condensation and lack of water, both of which can be easily solved by opening the windows and providing water coolers.

I interviewed a couple of students to prove my point:

 “The freshman Icebreaker was small, so it felt more personal. I think it had to do with the lighting, too. Besides Fort Mason being huge, they always have this blue lighting. So I have an uncomfortable awareness of my body.” –Aldo

 “Tighter. Darker. Sexier. That’s why.”—Nic

 “I’m a big believer in small venues. You don’t have to make a long trek to get to the dance floor. I hate when there are big windows where people can stare at you.” –Lily

 “I don’t even go to University.” –my sister Lua

 “There were parts of the freshman Icebreaker that sucked—it was sweaty, and there was a lack of water. But besides that, I liked the dark and crowded atmosphere. The dances now are too spread out, where there’s a congregation in front of the DJ and a bunch of empty space behind. MDFA (Make Dances Fun Again 2018).” –Mason

 “We need to be intimate with each other.” –Zoe

 “No comment.”—anonymous, high-ranking source within the school’s inner bureaucracy (Niko)

 “I liked freshman Icebreaker because it was small and sweaty, like me.” –Ezra

 Some students had other concerns about the dances:

 “Don’t plan a dance the night before the SAT, ACT, or any major test. That’s ridiculous!” –Magda

 “Why have a dance literally two weeks after the start of school? The ice hasn’t thawed enough to break.” –Gabby

“I believe it should be a +0.1 GPA boost if you go to a dance.” –Jorge

Last Friday’s Icebreaker was a perfect example of how small details make for a better dance. By covering the windows, no pesky onlookers bothered us, and the only light sources came from inside the room itself. Tables lined with snacks prevented the dancers from dying of starvation. Water coolers with light-up ice cubes allowed students to take a break from the mosh pit to grab a drink (although the cups were gone halfway through, so many had to resort to drinking out of bowls like filthy animals). And the senior decorations/glowsticks/weird chairs were fun additions that kept spirits high. Although the Fort Mason venue was still uncomfortably spacious, these details made the Icebreaker more hype. And who knows—maybe we could arrange for GPA boosts or P.E. credit for attending dances (@Alex Lockett). But let’s be real, it’s down to the students themselves to create a fun dance atmosphere and keep attendance levels high—optimism and excitement can turn a sub-par night into a nonstop party.